Seventeen.
Still a child, becoming a mother.
The man in the white coat says, “Today is the day.”
Fear crashes over her like a wave.
“I’m not ready.”
She breathes anxiety into a paper bag:
in and out
in and out
Rising
Falling
Tighten
Release
She’s always loved the ocean.
Watching the waves wash in and out,
In and out, sweeping sand to sea.
But this new and swelling tide
wasn’t the mild, lapping surf she spent summer suns basking in.
This was wild and terrifying, all-encompassing.
Chin to chest
Contract and breathe.
Breathe. Breathe.
Scream.
Weep.
Breathe.
She senses the white-capped crest overtaking her,
life flashing before her eyes.
Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Bravery becomes her. Wells within her.
And then,
a cry.
Two cries.
One of a girl just born,
the other a girl reborn.
The tide rescinds and
love floods all the carved out,
recessed places of her being,
forging new pathways in sand and stone.
Seventeen.
Still a child, now a mother.
A gypsy ship, now anchored.
Tethered to another,
they weather storms together.
Brittany Smith is a full-time creative in the St. Louis area where she lives with her husband, four messy, magical babes, and their Ecuadorian Au Pair. Brunch is her love language and quiet spaces to create are her happy place. In her past life, she was a singer-songwriter/worship leader. Now, she owns a photography + film studio and is the founder + creative director of She is Kindred. As a lifelong writer and professional people watcher, she has always been fascinated with people’s stories and unearthing the depth below the surface.
You can connect with her on Instagram @sixsmithstory.
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